The Chaos of Heartbreak When Love Becomes a One-Way Transaction

When Love Becomes a One-Way Transaction

" Female Energy " Graphite on canvas. A reflection of being drained, used, and discarded; of pouring into someone else's healing until there's nothing left for yourself.

Heartbreak is never clean. It doesn’t dissolve neatly into sadness—it crashes into you like a storm, leaving behind wreckage you never expected to sort through. But there’s a different kind of heartbreak, one that isn’t just about love lost, but about being used, being drained, being a stepping stone for someone else’s healing while they leave you in pieces.

Loving a narcissistic woman is like standing in the eye of a hurricane. At first, it’s intoxicating—the intensity, the pull, the way she makes you feel like the center of her world. But it’s never about you, not really. It’s about what you can give, what you can fix, how you can hold space for her while she heals through you. And when she’s done? The storm moves on, leaving you standing in the wreckage, wondering if you were ever truly seen.

I’ve felt it—the disgust, the exhaustion, the realization that I was nothing more than a vessel for someone else’s renewal. She took what she needed—my time, my care, my energy—until I was emptied out, then left without looking back. It wasn’t love; it was consumption. And I was the fuel.

My piece, Female Energy, now holds a different meaning. What once felt like an exploration of power and presence now feels like a reflection of something darker—the chaos of a woman who takes and takes, leaving only remnants behind. I poured into her, believing in reciprocity, believing in us, only to realize I was pouring into a void.

The worst part? She’ll never even see the damage. Because to her, this wasn’t destruction—it was a necessary transformation. She walks away lighter, while I sit in the aftermath, trying to rebuild from the ashes of what I thought we were.

But I refuse to let this be my ending. I am more than what was taken from me. If she used me as a stepping stone, so be it. I will not stay in that role. I will not let her define my worth.

This pain? I will create from it. I will transmute it into something lasting. Because while she may have moved on without a second thought, I will turn my heartbreak into art, into words, into something real. And in the end, that is how I will win.